The Coastal States Of America
When you’re getting high, the last thing you want to think about is how you’re going to get arrested by the same little elf that’s on the package of cookies […]
WORTH IT.
My vagina just turned 1 month old so I thought I’d introduce her to my dancing boots and we’d all hit the town for New Year’s together. Too soon? Probably. […]
A free man in a world full of slaves
I picked up the cigarette off the ground and handed it back to the bum’s shaking hand that had dropped it. “Th…th…Thanks” he stammered. “Need a light?” “mmmm”. A few […]
Vagina Update – 1 Month
Almost 1 month ago a vagina was born to a 42 year old virgin living in New York City. I’ve been having 2 issues over the past few weeks. First, […]
You Cold Bitch
Some of the things I say every day: “God, that’s good.” when I take a sip of my first warm, foamy coffee that blends into my tongue like camouflage netting over a tank. “Good morning Plantalonies!!” i say to my 5 adopted plants when I open up the blinds for […]
